What a room full of non-actors taught me about showing up
And a warm welcome to the Real Arc Studio blog - I’m so glad you're here!
I’ve spent a lot of years working with “non-actors” - people who wanted (and sometimes needed) to share their stories, be creative, and belong to a community but who wouldn’t be considered “actors” by the outside world.
Sometimes they were part of an underserved and overlooked population, sometimes they were university students, and sometimes folks dipping their toes into the arts for the first time.
And what I LOVED more than anything about working with many of them was this: Their ability to simply bring themselves to whatever they were doing.
Whether they were stepping into a character, sharing their own story, or supporting someone by playing a tree in the background (human scenery is the BEST!), there was always a level of simple, beautiful humanity in it. Not trying to be someone else, not pressuring themselves to perform perfectly - even laughing when they flubbed a line - and always finding a way to keep on goin.’
When a lot of us think about performance and presentation, we think we have to show up as an alternate version of ourselves. The one that is so polished and perfect and has all their sh*t super organized.
There’s a lot of pressure because sometimes the stakes feel so high. And maybe they truly are - maybe there IS a lot riding on what you’re putting out there and how you’re showing up.
But what can happen under pressure and the endless search for perfectionism is that you lose that connection to what I described above. The human-ness of it all. The ability to laugh off your mistakes, be friendly with the audience, welcome them into your messy and authentic ways and actually ENJOY the moment of being in the room and sharing yourself and your knowledge with others.
I think about this when I’m working with clients - people getting ready for a conference or webinar, coaches figuring out how to speak to the camera, performers who are finding their feet on stage. About how we can take the pressure off. And I keep coming back to those wonderful people above: the ones playing trees, fumbling their lines, laughing at themselves, being present.
“There was always a level of simple, beautiful humanity in it. Not trying to be someone else, not pressuring themselves to perform perfectly and always finding a way to keep on goin.’ ”
Now - I greatly appreciate a well-crafted presentation. A polished hook, some vocal variety, a visually pleasing slide deck that probably took three weekends to create. These techniques, skills and structural components all have their place (and yes, we'll work on them!). But they're actually supporting something more fundamental. And for me as a coach AND audience member, something much more important.
They’re supporting you to show up and be present with the people who are there in the room with you.
When you can focus on bringing yourself into the space, breathing and being; when you stop managing how you’re coming across and overthinking everything that could go wrong; when you literally get out of your own way - something really cool happens.
The whole thing stops being about you and starts being about connecting with your audience. Making them feel seen! Helping them learn something. Sparking some inspiration inside of their hearts and minds. Reminding them they’re part of something bigger. Sharing a real moment in time that has the potential to shift or move them in some positive way.
“When you literally get out of your own way - something really cool happens. The whole thing stops being about you. ”
Some of the best concerts, conference presentations, webinars, instagram videos, poetry readings I’ve seen all have this in common. A present and fully engaged presenter, giving themselves and their energy to the people in front of them.
Your presence gives your audience permission to be present too. And that’s where this path towards deeper human connection - which we all need now more than ever - really opens up.
This is where I start with every client. I make coaching about you. In a way, you’re my audience. And I’m focusing in on who you are, what you bring into the room and how I can amplify your skills, talents and knowledge. And then we work together through the fun, supportive technical stuff too.
Thanks for being here for this - my first ever blog post. I started Real Arc Studio because I believe deeply that more people deserve to feel good about showing up - not just confident and ready, but like themselves. I can't wait to share more with you.
